In general, the words “syntax” and “grammar” both refer to the proper usage of words, composing proper sentences with clear meanings and avoiding slang, cliches, redundancies and other sins that lead to poor communication. We tend to forgive those errors when it comes to everyday conversation because mentally editing our spoken words requires too much concentration on form and distorts the expression of ideas. When it comes to providing accurate information, however, it is essential to use the right words and structure that result in the accurate transfer of facts. And that is where simple statements can easily be transformed into misleading double-talk.

Whether intentional or accidental, such malformed statements are too often taken as fact by those of us who are too trusting and mistakenly believe everything we see in print or hear over the airwaves. (I suppose it is human nature to think that, if information has made it this far, it must be true – surely the newspapers, magazines, radio and television wouldn’t mislead us – would they?) That faith is justifiable, as far as it goes, but we need to take into account a certain amount of poetic freedom that the world of advertising has managed to acquire over the years. We all allow (and seem to forgive) advertisers the leeway to exaggerate good aspects and to omit negative ones when it comes to convincing us of the merits of products and services. There is one definition of “syntax” that we seem to pass by when it comes to those artfully constructed ads; and that is the notion that, when we indicate something being compared to something else, we should state what that something else is – exactly.

It is not fair to state that one thing “provides ten percent more” without telling us what it gives ten percent more of – and what product it is being compared to. I recently was confounded by a claim that a certain pain killer gives “four times more relief” – I assume that means more than a similar, but unidentified, product. The confusion doesn’t end there. I’m not sure what is meant by “four times more” – if the relief for the other product is ten percent of the pain, then four times would be forty percent, and four times more would be fifty percent. Some other examples of such ambiguous claims follow here; “Twice as much” of what? They didn’t say. “Three times stronger.” than what? Not a clue. “Two times more,” again, more than what? “Three times greater”, “Half as much”, “50% less”, and a real zinger “For just a fraction more,” which could be anywhere between infinity and almost zero when you consider the range of possible fractions. “For pennies a day” could be two cents or billions of dollars’ worth of pennies.

There are other vague promises which must remain unknown until the sad day we discover that

“no interest and no payments for a year” will be quickly recouped by double payments for the next year. “Free installation” may sound nice, but just how much is the regular cost, installation included? And, including installation, how much does it save over the costs of competitors?

Even more important than the monetary cost, is the implied advice we get from listening to slogans, especially when it comes to self-medication. I’m referring specifically to the use of over-the-counter pain killers. We tend, way too much, to reach for the aspirin bottle when a persistent ache or a stab of pain makes us uncomfortable. Remember the mantra of exercise gurus not too many years ago who told us, “No pain, no gain”? The message that we had to stress our bodies to make us stronger ignored the fact that pain is nature’s way of telling us that something is wrong. Today’s version of that – “With less pain, there’s more gain,” is just as misleading. Never hide pains from your doctor.

We should always check with our doctors before using even the most innocent sounding herbs, dietary supplements or products that affect the appearance of our eyes, teeth, skin and even our hair. Such products as eye and teeth whiteners are mostly cosmetic and can be harmful if used over long periods of time. And don’t forget to check the ingredients for things you are allergic to.