April Fool’s Day reminded me of some of the foolish things people do (any time of the year.) Some are real things done by real people, but a good share of them have to do with someone’s version of what real people do or don’t do. I’m thinking mostly about things we see on TV. Commercials are probably the biggest offenders in this matter – little “playlets” that pretend to represent things that the advertisers believe about us or want us to believe about ourselves.
The first example that comes to mind is a series of commercials for paper towels; those commercials that feature different near-disasters involving spills of liquids that threaten to ruin valuable documents, electronic devices, art works, winning lottery tickets and other precious items. In each mini-drama a stream of spilled coffee, fruit juice, etc. makes its way toward the valued item while the actors scream, moan or otherwise react with panic or dismay, and the disaster is avoided by someone managing to grab a sheet of paper towel and sop up the spill at the very last moment. Each time, I wonder why someone doesn’t simply pick up the endangered object and remove it from peril. Do advertisers really think we’re that stupid?
There seems to be a flurry of devices to protect your car, van or truck from dirt, damage and wear, though they don’t come cheap and that makes me wonder if the next thing to come along will be another layer of products to protect those expensive protectors. I seem to remember a Latin quote from sometime around the first century AD; “Who will guard the guards?” It all seems to be a bit of overkill similar to the 1970’s trend of protecting those beauty-shop hairdos by wearing a bandanna of nylon net. They were worn everywhere – to church, the movies, shopping, visiting friends, parent-teacher meetings, and of course, all outdoor activities such as attending picnics and Little League games. I often wondered just what occasion was important enough to forego the nylon net and risk a stray wisp or two of that carefully arranged hair.
Some things are almost too obvious to believe that anyone takes them seriously. Most of those TV ads for medicines tell us to “consult your doctor” before using. Yet, most of those advertised miracles seem to require prescriptions to obtain. Anyone who can gain access to them without a doctor’s approval isn’t going to pay attention to those warnings, anyway. One medication cautions us to not take it if we are allergic to it. Du-uh! If you know you’re allergic to it, you surely know the consequences and would never take it. In the past, learning just what one was allergic to was a hit-or-miss process involving trial and error skin-pricks with various allergens. Today, there are much simpler and more reliable blood tests that quickly pin-point those things we should avoid. About the only other way to know if you are allergic would be if you’d already experienced a reaction. If you know you are allergic and take the medication anyway, you probably deserve to suffer.
Then there is an especially ridiculous practice that hasn’t changed in years, even though it is so obviously foolish. As most of you do, I receive periodic statements from one of my insurance providers that includes pages and pages of facts that I either already know, don’t need to know, don’t understand or have no use for. After being informed of how much out-of-pocket expense I paid, how much had been billed, how much was paid by the insurance, the bottom line represents the main thing of interest to me – that I owe nothing. This is followed by a final page bearing the message; “This page intentionally left blank.” Don’t they get it? The instant they typed those words on that page, it was no longer blank. I wonder whose bright idea it was. Did they really think we wouldn’t be able to tell that the page had nothing written on it or if we’d care if it was intentional or not? If it was important to point that out, why didn’t it occur to someone that they could have written, on the previous page, “The following page intentionally left blank”?