After four years of college in Iowa City and an additional 14 years living there before we moved to the country, I discovered that several of my high school friends had lived there also during that time, and we were completely unaware of each other. Of the many factors that caused that lapse, the most common had been the simple fact that, once married, women take on new identities; their last names have changed. Far too late, I discovered that one of my schoolmates had lived less than a block from us and neither of us had been aware of that fact. We learned, belatedly, of each other only after her businessman husband had consulted my accountant husband regarding a tax matter.
During the past decade or so, any number of additional people have mysteriously disappeared from my life. This time, it was not just a matter of the new last name listed in the phone book, as it was of no listing anywhere at all. Unlike the past, we have no directory of cellphone numbers and find ourselves in a state comparable to the former “unlisted” phone numbers of the past. But even then, the operator could contact the party and give them the option of calling you.
The telephone directory was once as good as a private detective when it came to finding specific information about people, businesses, government offices, organizations, schools, towns and cities. I learned early that a call to the information department at the local library could gain access to nearly any city phone directory in the country, if you knew what town or county to ask for and had an approximate name to begin the search. The phone books also had maps of city streets, parks, schools and government buildings and a helpful key to locate specific streets as city maps became more extended and complicated. One could, not only find the phone number of a restaurant, but also its location and that of the nearest parking garage and the Yellow Pages often listed the type of cuisine and hours of serving. Newcomers could learn much about their new town and traveling salesmen and visiting relatives could avoid becoming hopelessly lost simply by consulting the local phone directory.
Then came the cellphone. There was, suddenly, no way to find a phone number for anybody unless they provided it for you. We lost touch with friends and relatives if they changed their addresses or discontinued their landlines. Granted, it cut down on phone solicitors, for a brief time until they started digital dialing which soon led to robocalls. That blessed but brief respite soon disappeared along with the phone directory. Many people, at first, welcomed the anonymity of having unpublished cellphone numbers, but soon learned it was no protection from those pesky, unwanted calls. And most have begun to realize that, by attempting to control their privacy, they have deprived themselves of the advantages of being accessible.
All this new technology, along with the rapid increase in the use of home computers and all the new ways devised to “keep in touch” through cyberspace, was touted as a way to improve communications and access to information. Unfortunately, not everyone wants, can afford, or has the skills to take advantage of all this space-age technology and, for whatever reasons, are left out of the loop. Nobody seems to care or make an effort to continue connecting the “old-fashioned” way.
The downside of technology; the spam, the scams, the bullying, the fake news, the unauthorized access, the illegal and clearly immoral, is turning the dream into a nightmare and, rather than making it easier to stay in touch, is making us afraid to make contact. Governments, organizations, publications, businesses and individuals should remember whatever they offer on the internet should also be available to those who, for whatever reason, are not connected. When the only way to participate in an activity, access a government agency, buy a product or service, or get information is online, then something is drastically wrong with the system and it needs to be fixed.