As a licensed Unicorn Hunter, I find myself debating about the exact meanings of certain words and obliged to point out instances of their misuse. My forays into the dictionary often result in an urgent desire to find opportunities to use certain intriguing words.
There are some really zingy words in our English language — words that I find myself reading and thinking but seldom get to use. These words seem to lurk around the edges of my brain, waiting for me to set them free. I sometimes contrive opportunities to use them but, almost always I chicken out because they sound pretentious. Some people can get away with that — I don’t seem to be able to.
Here are just a few of my favorites. I’ll start with “Myrmidons,” warriors from ancient Thessaly who faithfully followed Achilles into whatever battles he engaged in. The word is used in the present day to indicate disciples or followers, though not necessarily those who are as avidly devoted and self-sacrificing as the originals. It has come to have a meaning more closely related to retinue or hangers-on. I long for an opportunity to use the word as in its original meaning.
“Bemused” seems to have been one of Agatha Christie’s favorite adjectives. There are often several bewildered or preoccupied characters in nearly every one of her mysteries. For a long time in my youth, I thought the word was a synonym for “amused” until I happened to light upon it in a dictionary while looking for something else. If nothing else, that word taught me not to make unfounded assumptions about the definitions of words — I became a dedicated dictionary browser.
“Pickwickian” is exactly what it sounds like — resembling the main character in Dickens’s Pickwick Papers. Even if you haven’t read it, you probably assume that it means someone (or something) that is a bit twisted from the standard — “elfin” comes close, today we might just say “off the wall.” Words don’t seem to have the same meaning for a Pickwickian as they do for the rest of us — and odd behavior is considered normal. A pick wick, by the way, is actually a wick pick — a little tool for pulling up the short wick of an oil lamp.
I particularly like the word “portentous.” In fact, I do use it when the occasion allows, though it is nearly always met by comments or raised eyebrows from the people I’m talking to. Fortunately, when I use it in writing, I don’t have to stick around to observe the reactions. It’s rather a mouthful until you get used to it, but there is no other word that means quite the same thing. A portent is an omen — a sign that foretells something to come, not necessarily something unfortunate or to be dreaded. “Ominous,” which sounds as if it should be a synonym, is more limited to warnings of dire or unpleasant things in the future. Do not confuse it with “pretentious” — quite a different word altogether.
I like the word “enormity” too, but opportunities for its use are rare. Unless you’re talking about today’s Ukraine massacres, the effects of the atomic bomb, or the Holocaust, there aren’t a lot of topics that invite its accurate use. The definition of “enormity” is given as “a monstrous wickedness” and the word “monstrous” in this case means “like a monster.” Even though hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis are disastrous, they are events of nature so cannot be considered wicked. True wickedness requires malice. Perhaps, that’s why a secondary meaning has begun to be accepted. I hear the word being used to describe something huge. We’ve come to let the meanings of the word blur so that we don’t really see the subtle differences. While there aren’t many things that qualify to be called enormities, we do need the word when nothing else will do. I hate to see it watered down to an all-purpose word that would describe anything large.
Some words, you just can’t use — at least not often. Save them for when they count.