I’ve long had the habit of jotting down ideas for possible columns, poems or stories. A lot of them eventually see the light of day in a reasonable form; some are swallowed up as part of a larger piece; others simply laze around waiting for inspiration that never coalesces. Like dim-witted pets that never quite live up to expectations, they work their way into my affections and I’m reluctant to part with them. Before I finally toss them out, though, I’m going to give some of them their fifteen seconds of fame. Maybe someone out there will find interest and meaning and adopt them.
My sisters and I played a game called Mother, may I? One player designated as Mother would call out instructions to the other players and they were required to respond, “Mother. May I?” If they forgot and simply carried out the instructions, they were denied permission and after a certain number of denials, they were dropped from the game. While the game seems rather pointless, it did serve one purpose (which is probably why it was invented) and that was to teach us to say “may I” when we were asking permission rather than “can I” which asks if we are capable.
I’ve long suspected the game was invented by a school teacher as part of a grammar lesson. Today’s children wouldn’t understand the point of the game and, I’m sorry to say, wouldn’t care. I’d like to see a similar game to combat such atrocities as “Hide my skin? Not me.” That commercial on television shows nearly a dozen people claiming they wouldn’t hide their psoriasis. Each and every one of them says exactly the same thing. You’d think that at least one of them would properly say, “Not I”
It took me the usual three weeks or more to adjust to the return to Daylight Savings Time. I understand that the practice began during WWI as a way to give farmers and laborers more daylight in the evenings. During WWII it seemed sensible to allow for extra daylight after normal business hours so that people would have time to work in their victory gardens. While farmers, then and now, seem to be governed more by the sun than by the clock, I’ve always doubted the value of the practice, and think the former reasons are more than a little out of date in today’s world. A more sensible solution would be to ban the use of daylight savings time altogether and return to standard time year-round. It would save a lot of bother and confusion and make it so much easier – but only if the whole world went along. The differences in standard time zones are enough for us to deal with.
I’m beginning to wonder if there are still rules about how much air time a television station can devote to commercials. It seems to me that commercials are longer, more numerous and more frequent than they have been in the past. Every hour and half-hour break seems filled with a dozen or more commercials and it’s possible to scan from station to station for an entire thirty minutes without ever getting a glimpse of an actual program. I don’t like the current practice of showing five to ten minutes of a program before announcing what we are watching.
Programs used to start with theme music and credits and you knew what program you were going to see. Now, you find yourself deep into the plot before you realize it’s not what you wanted to see, and it’s too late to change channels and be able to make sense of something else that’s been going on for ten or more minutes. As long as I’m venting about commercials, I wonder if I’m the only person who is increasingly disgusted at the tasteless ads some companies are airing. “Number two should be easy to do.” Really,
And how many sad-eyed and shivering puppies and kittens do we have to watch during station breaks? If ASPCA thinks that’s going to make me send them money, I have just this to say: As much as I love animals and have enjoyed pets all my life, they’re not getting anything from me as long as there are homeless people and hungry children in the world.
Could you look a starving child in the eye and tell him that he didn’t get a meal because you’d rather feed a dog? Or tell a homeless family that they are less important than stray cats?
A former volunteer and substitute teacher in the Solon schools, Milli is an artist and poet who lives near Morse where she also creates unique greeting cards and handmade books.