It was a good many years ago that I officially became a licensed unicorn hunter. A professor at the University of Wisconsin wanted people to help save our language from sloppy and confusing misuse. I responded and paid a modest fee (one dollar, if memory serves) to get my Unicorn Hunter’s license and a small tin lapel badge emblazoned with a white unicorn on a blue background. This entitled me to correct, criticize, harass and otherwise annoy people who misuse words, persist in poor grammar, and perpetuate sloppy and damaging habits in speech and writing.
Such sins only serve to set poor examples for the generations to follow and weaken word meanings. The English language is a marvelous blend of words adopted from many of the other languages known in this world. It is my belief that writers, broadcasters and other people who make their livings through language should be a force for its protection, and should display and perpetuate a healthy respect for the proper use of our language.
The unicorns that these warriors hunt are many and, in order to eliminate them, we must point them out to those people who, through ignorance or laziness, consistently misuse words. I have found various reactions to my bringing these errors to the attention of the perpetrators and many of those responses are hostile or resentful and reflect the possibility that my efforts have little effect. Others, such as the members of my writers’ group, accept the criticism as help in making them better writers, but they are the exception. I’m afraid that the middle-of-the-road group (those who are neither annoyed nor enriched by my comments) simply smile or nod and promptly forget my advice.
While the unicorns depicted in art and legend are rare, most of the language unicorns that I seek turn out to be common and predictable. Here are a few examples along with the reasons they are labeled as unicorns;
ALOT — there simply is no such word. Always write “a lot.” (ALLOT, which means to portion out, is an entirely different word.) Similarly misunderstood is AWHILE, which means “for a short time” as in, “linger awhile.” A WHILE (two words) can be any length, long, short, even endless as in “a little while.” This is similar to the almost consistently misused word MOMENTARILY. To say that “Our guest will be here momentarily” means that he will stay for only a very brief time, not that he will arrive soon. To say that “He will speak momentarily” implies that his speech will be quite short. If you mean “soon” then just say so — “momentarily” sounds pompous and affected — and is usually wrong.
There seems to be a lot of confusion regarding LIE and LAY. Some of the trouble lies in the definitions of LIE. One is an untruth and its past tense is LIED. The other meaning, to recline, is always present tense. LAID is not usually the past tense of LIE (except in certain cases where you are referring to eggs that were produced by birds, turtles, insects, etc. or certain happenings involving naughty girls.) If you or anybody else reclined for a nap, the word to indicate that it was in the past is LAY. (He, she, you, I, they or it may LIE down today; but yesterday, we or they LAY down.) LAY also means to “place or install,” as to lay linoleum or to lay a book down on a table, also for past tense. LAIN is used to indicate the past when used with “have” or in the present with “has”.
ON-GOING has two distinct meanings and, while you don’t need to know the difference in their spellings when you are speaking, the difference is important in the written word. With a hyphen, the word means that something is happening at the present time. As one word, ONGOING indicates something perpetual, as the earth orbiting the sun, a dilemma with no possible solution or perpetual dissension between nations or a feud between clans.
Next week, I’ll share some of the common words that are frequently misused because many people are mistaken about their definitions — or because they are too lazy to look in a dictionary.